My Most Recent Health Update - As Seen On My GoFundMe Campaign

Here is my most recent update. If you would like to contribute, and oh my goodness will it help, here's the link for the campaign: www.gofundme.com/healingwithheather

"Today I got my third nerve block!  The doctors STILL have no idea what's causing my constant pain, but this has so far been the only treatment that helps lessen it.  Of course it's not a perfect solution; its kind of like plugging a leak in a boat, but really needing to get back to shore.....but for now, I'll take whatever keeps me from drowning.  Plus, a nerve block is the only thing that has allowed me to eat food, and after not eating for two and a half months, I assure you that food is the greatest of all things :)

The included photo is me before the procedure, the IV, me after the procedure, and an example of the amazing food that I can now eat. 

Also I went to mention a little bit about invisible illnesses.  My before picture looks Facebook-profile worthy, but what you don't see is how much effort it took to shower this morning, when every part of me was almost too sore and pained to just get out of bed.  So just because I look like myself and "healthy," that doesn't mean that I am.  That's what an invisible illness is. 

Even directly after the procedure, when I was still loopy from the anesthesia, a woman angrily forced me to give up my seat for her, assuming that I didn't have my own health problems simply because of the way that I look.  I was too tired and weak to fight with her, and gave up my seat, and then she told me that I should smile....... Clearly not everyone is very educated on or open to others' struggles, so if you glean anything from this update, I hope it's considering the pain you can't see, and to value and respect it as much as you would more obvious injuries, such as someone with crutches or with a cast. 

But of course this won't me a stretch for you; you are the good ones, as you've already gone of your way to help me, showing that you understand.

The procedure was $30, and then I spent $70 on medicine, and that's $100 I didn't have without your help. Thank you again. You all have made my healing possible. I really couldn't have done this without you."

I Am In Awe

I woke up this morning in awe.

First for good humans.  I started a GoFundMe yesterday (finally acknowledging that I need help with everything that I am facing), and it hasn’t even been 24 hours and I’m almost a third of the way to my goal.  And this is you!  You beautiful and kind souls that are reading my words, caring about my stories and my smiles.  I can’t stop crying happy tears that you are in my life.

I’ve spent so much of my adulthood trying to prove myself as a good human: one that gives more to the world than I take….and for this much kindness to be sent to me, both towards the campaign, but also very much in your words of courage and support….it means I’m doing it.  

Your love means I can be proud of who I have become: because to receive this much warmth…I must be doing something right.  

And I really do love you all so very much.  There have been times when the word “family” made me sad-cry; as if it were a word a language that I wasn’t allowed speak.  Like I was an outsider to the concept of a family, and that I never would achieve actually having one.  

But now, especially after my last hospitalization, with everyone who read my story and reached out and sent their love….when I hear the word “family,” I now think of all of you.  

And so I cry cathartic tears of fulfillment and gratitude, in spite of the hardship that I face.

So thank you for that validation, your love, and granting me the courage to continue.

As for awe number two:

I am exactly where I need to be.  I moved to this city to pursue TV & film, and ultimately my goal of using art to give people hope in being alive.  I have a weird history with this city (one that would require a much longer post), but my mantra has always been not to let my circumstances limit me.  So I came here for a fresh start.  It’s been a crazy start, but in the hospital I got to see the sunrise each morning, and saw it as an opportunity each day to heal and grow closer towards my dreams. 

So when I saw the sunrise this morning, far, far from that tiny hospital window, I saw it as an even greater beginning; one as vast as the pink sky itself.  As if my new life were greeting me today with arms full of love and opportunity.

So my friends, my loves, my family.  I am here.  Full of gratitude for you and where I am today.

And I am SO happy to be alive.  So stay tuned, because I think we’re in for a great ride.

my reaction to the GoFundMe:

and today's sunrise

Asking for Financial Help

Hi my loves.
I am at that point.
I love you all.


Click here if you'd like to contribute.