Showing posts with label self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Happiness Quest 2016

Quests in video games (yes girls play, too) are like divine intervention by the game's creators.  They need you to accomplish something in order to further the plot and the story of your character. Usually you have some sort of glowy oracle who guides you, helping you to unlock your characters future. 

I have been stuck on the same level for a long time. Maybe the goal of my game is to be healthy and have a home and a family, for it seems that no matter how hard I try, there's always a bigger boss that crushes me, sending me back into the hospital or on a housing hunt, and making my precious actions seem worthless. 

Sure, I've collected a few coins along the way. Gained a heart then had it broken. Found some shiny stones to hold onto for good luck, but I'm nevertheless feeling stuck. 

And this level, this west coast sunny side search for a career and happiness - I have failed. Or maybe it has failed me. Nevertheless I am unhappy and feeling too overwrought to continue upon this path. 

So I'm returning to my previous level, my Philadelphia one, because that level rocked. I flew in that world, surrounded but helpful trees and wonderful spirits. I was happy there. I beat that level with flying electromagnetic colors. 
And so I want to learn why. Why that level was so amazing, what did I do different then, and whether I can bring those skills to my current level. 

And maybe I can't. Maybe I'll move back to level Philly until I'm strong enough to progress, or maybe I need to explore somewhere new on my map. Unfortunately I have no oracle, just a burning desire to travel, explore and learn, and so I'm following that passion to learn more about the world, myself and where I need to be. 

And thus begins: my Happiness Quest. 

Friday, November 27, 2015

Well, Here It Is

 I have so much to write about so I might as well start somewhere.  I was in the hospital for 8 days.  It’s been about 7 days since then, but it felt like a rush of doctors and nurses and meds in the hospital, and then an infinity of time trying to heal once out.  I am not better yet, and I am afraid of carrying on without giving  myself the guarantee that before I continue - I am better.  I worry I left the hospital too soon.

I have Crohn’s disease, a flaw in my digestive track causing it to attack instead of heal me.  I have active disease that is not yet being quieted in my current treatment, and yet I don’t have time to rest until my active disease subsides.

So we’ll see how this goes.  Hopefully I am not evicted, nor end up back in the hospital.
Yeah getting to be a normal twenty something….