Travel in 2017 vs. 2012

I recently traveled through Vietnam and a little piece of Hong Kong.  
The last time I left America was in 2012 when I studied in France for three months.  Almost immediately upon my arrival in Vietnam, I realized how different travel is, and how most of my tips had become outdated in just five years.

Technology is the biggest catalyst of change, and I’m curious about how much it shapes culture.  For instance, when I was in France and learning language, I was taught “internet café” geographically and linguistically very early on.

I did have a smart phone when I was in France, but it could do maybe half of what we expect from our phones today.  Moreover, it was a Verizon iPhone 4, which my Apple friends who’ve been with the company for a few years know didn’t have a SIM tray.  In other words, it was hardwired to only understand my carrier in the U.S. and basically an iPod.

I’d have to duck into previously mentioned internet cafés in order to do anything beyond downloaded music and photos.  I get lost very, very easily, and looking back I’m still in awe at how I got around without a little blue dot showing me walking in the wrong direction.

My travel was marked by these internet-happy spots, the equivalent of stopping for gas before driving to the next adventure.  When I changed between bus and train, I knew my stops to go check for messages from friends or directions from the satellite gods.

Fast forward to 2017.  I got a SIM card faster than they stamped my visa.  The Vietnamese government sponsors their cellphone carriers, and that’s partially responsible for how reasonably priced they are.  I inserted the new SIM card into my phone and was immediately joking with one of my friends. While there, my biggest obstacle in communication wasn’t the ability to connect, but simply timezones.  But as long as they were awake, I could speak to whomever I wanted, even from of on a mountain at the other side of the world.

Technology-lead, travel changed from this isolated bubble to being no different than exploring a city in America.  When I was in France, I spent my daily commute writing, listening to the same albums I had downloaded, and almost meditating in my bus seat, unable to communicate with friends or linguistically with those around me.

This was in Strasbourg.  Somedays I’d walk to Germany for lunch, and I don’t even know what that would’ve meant for cellphones.  I’m glad it never came up.  I wonder if the hole in access would’ve dissuaded me from traveling outside my comfort and reception zones.  Instead, it’s some of my fondest memories.

Honestly, I think travel should feel solitary.

I have a few friends that meet travel companions via Tinder.  A few years ago, one of my friends went on what we called her “Sexpodition,”

To be fair, I understand the utility of Tinder in another country.  When I was exploring Hong Kong by myself, I was tempted to use it to find a friend to go to dinner with.  I was blindly looking up places on Yelp, but would rather’ve had a new friend recommend a spot and talk to them about their culture.

And I couldn’t.  I couldn’t find someone available that night that wasn’t looking for sex.  I was not.  I was looking for human connection and I’ve found that is something so rare to find as a woman on those apps.  

And honestly, I don’t need it.  I build friendships rather easily.  I am connected on Facebook with people in Vietnam I knew for maybe an hour, and am grateful for the technology to still have them in my life; but I didn’t need it to meet them.

I even have a connection to someone I never met.  The hostel I stayed at in Hong Kong had these amazing postcards for sale.  They were a unique style illustratively, and when I inquired, the hostel staff excitedly told me that they’re all representative of Cantonese expressions.  I bought a set and asked if I could record one of them explaining their meanings.  She agreed as long as she could film me saying why it excited me so much.  She then sent that video along to the artist who made them, and she found me on Facebook saying how much it meant to her.

Connections are made from being observant and kind to the world around you.

I don’t need to find that superficially, and personally think the easy access of technology deflects my attention from my surroundings.

Some need to travel with those who speak English.  Evolutionarily, it is socially validating to be with someone who speaks the same language, as well as helps travel feel safer and more familiar.  I understand that, and traveled with an English speaker.  It’s my primary language, and see the utility.

But I love the struggle of other languages.  The dance to be understood that’s at the core of every human being.  Loving the linguistic challenge is why I learned French in three months.  It’s why I know ASL, it’s why I choose the friends that I have and what draws them to me.

I love the discomfort and humility that comes with traveling another country.

And in sum, have found technology lessens it.

The postcards.  Art by Bonnie Wong, featured at The Mahjong

The Millennial Cure to a Dreary Day

Here we go:

1. Make coffee.  Even if it involves dishes, moving, or perhaps even leaving your bed, consume caffeine.  (Note: if you are some sort of medical anomaly who doesn't consume caffeine, you probably don't need this list.)
2. Write down all the things that you think you need to do.  Pick three.
3. Figure out one thing that you have in your control that would make the day suck just a little bit less.  Do that now.
4. Reach out to your friends.  Even when you feel like you can't.
5. Play with pets.   *bonus points if they're actually your own*
6. Eat something because you probably haven't.  Even if you can't afford it, you need food.
7.  Shower.  It sucks, but it will make you feel better.
8.  Think about something you want and someone you admire who's doing what you want.  Research them and see how they did it.  Learn from them, follow their Instagram, reach out if you can.  We're all on a different path, but if they found your true North, let them be your compass.
9. Let it be okay that you are not there yet.  It takes time.
10. In fact, think about the last year.  What are five badass things you did that make you brave, and fierce and incredible.  (If you can't think of any, ask your best friend to name them for you.)

Last but not least, love yourself.  It's the only love you can always rely on.

(two out of ten of the list.  And yes I still have the cat, and yes that's a Luke's Diner mug)

Growing Up: a post that isn't about the kitten I found.

I am growing up and it terrifies me.

Numbers I get, numbers I have been counting for all of my life.  I understand that 25 is equidistant from 20 and 30.  But what I wasn’t expecting was how different they are and that 25 is being caught in the growing pains of wanting a totally different life.  

I am more limited now.  I am aware that the choices I make will be the stories I tell.  I have less potential energy.  I won’t be a surgeon, an astronaut, a linguistics major, or a scientist.  I have made decisions that lead me to a path so deep in the woods of life that I can’t navigate my way back.  And the forward forest is of fewer roads than I had seen before. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I still want to act and make art that gives people hope in being alive, that is the ethos of who I am… but I’m still not doing it.  Not enough at least.  It is not what pays my bills, it’s not all that I do.  So I could make that my focus, and really do more each week to take advantage of this great city I am in; but I also want to travel and have enjoyed uprooting myself each year and starting over with a new piece of myself that I had gained.

So that is the 20 year old in me.  Wanting everything and trusting it’ll work out.

Now the 30 year old…is who confuses me.  The 30 year old hears this and worries about health insurance, affording rent, knowing that I can make rent the following month, and longs for…dare I say it…stability.

I am someone that warns my friends when I meet them that I at some point will leave, eventually to France, and will do so happily.  And yet now I’m sad that I don’t come home to someone I have known for years.  Or that I don’t have enough spots where I am a regular.  Or that I have twenty different addresses saved in Grubhub/Seamless/Amazon.

I don’t want to settle down, there is still so much I want to do…but I also am longing to have a staycation where I get to really relax at home.  It confuses and overwhelms me to want so many different versions of the same story.  I just hope I land on one worth telling.