Moves, Changes, and Something Else

Hello lovely world.
So.  I am finally getting out of this sun-burt starstruck city, and heading to that other small town in this country, maybe you've heard of it: the city of New York.

I once told someone "New York is where people go to watch their dreams die" but honestly....at least that person was following their dreams.  At at least they knew what they wanted.

I don't have a five year plan.
When I moved here last year, it was to work on TV/Film but honestly, aside from one serendipitous meeting with an agent and one student film, all I've been able to work towards is keeping my head above water and my health in check.
And I could do this for another two years, save up some money to take a class, make a connection who introduces me to their agent, who would get me out on auditions, after a year I'd gain recognition, perhaps a year later someone would remember me a get me a of small role, which could lead to a few more, and maybe a few years after doing that I might land something big...but as it turns out that's not the path what I want to take.

I don't want to spend seven years preparing for one big break.  No matter how big it is.
I want to be doing something in the meantime.  I want to do more than vamping until it's my time to sing.  But also...

I've realized that more than art, I love people.  And I love loving the people who love me.  I love being close to someone for more than a year.  I love spending time with my friends, going on picnics, having sleepovers and inside jokes, and I love working with these friends and leaning on each other to get through the shift.  I want to see my best friends during the day and go home to someone I love each night.
That is what I want.

But I haven't worked with my best friends for awhile, nor have I had anyone to come home to (besides Spencer), so how can I work towards a dream that involves someone else and therefore isn't within my control?

I have no idea.
But getting around more easily could help.  Transportation has held me back from socializing here.  I can't afford to über all the time, but the bus taking two hours to get anywhere isn't the best or safest option (especially at night), not to mention my health hasn't wanted to do much more stay in bed.  But faster transportation means shorter days, and hopefully that'll give the energy and opportunity to spend more time with those that I love and finding new companions.

And I still want to do art.  And maybe with a city so interconnected I'll run into more serendipitous opportunities.  All I know is I'm ready for new.  I'm ready for a coast that works hard and calls it as they see it.  I want to hop on a bus and go see my sisters in the city of brotherly love.  I'm scared about having to find another apartment and move again but hey, in less than a month, that'll all be figured out.

So hey.  Even if "New York is where people go to watch their dreams die" (also could I sound anymore pretentious) I'm not certain of my dream, so I have nothing to lose.  And if I figure it out only to have that dream fail, then at least that lets me focus on a better one.

I am ready to start on a new adventure...