Saturday, April 16, 2016

Some Changes from the Past Week

Hello lovely readers,
So I've been a bit quiet the last week and I'll walk you through why.

First of all I have been surrounded so constantly by such magnificent loves that I've seldom had time to reflect, and honestly no need to. I've been happy and I know exactly why: I'm back where I belong and where I need to be. 

And thus the second reason for my silence: now that I know what I want.....what do I do next?  How do get on that plane to a city where I've only ever struggled?  Especially now that I know that it's contributing to my sadness, which often materializes in physical pain...

Someone asked me in my dream scenario, what would I do next, and the honest answer is to not leave.... To become a little stray cat traveling around Philly until I find myself a home. 
But I have to go back. I have a lease to break, things to pack, a belovéd mattress and books to somehow transport.... But as a best friend said, I shouldn't let that be the reason not to do what I want. 

As far as art goes, I have a vlog in the works and am going to be making my own work as it is....might as well be surrounded by loves as I do so. This isn't the end of my art, it's just migrating to a more fruitful location. And I visited New York again and to the idea of moving there instead, I will Monty Python style laugh in your face...no no. Not for me. 

I like being in a city, but one that's a little more centrally located, and I also have more of a family in Philly. When I went to tea with one of my friends I happily exclaimed that they brought two pens with our checks as I hate when they only bring one; I then dropped my pen. 
I realized that I was only complaining about the scarcity of pens because I've been going out so often with friends, something I rarely got to do on LA. I don't like working so hard not to be alone, and no doubt the walkability makes meeting up all the easier. Plus people on this coast are used to grabbing a drink after work together, or catching up during lunch, and that's exactly what I want. 

And so I sit warmly in my silence. Knowing WHAT I want, and now working on the HOW. 


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