Little Post on Nerve Blocks

So I ended 2015 with a nerve block, which is a symbolically humorous.

Let’s explore: the nerve block essentially tricks my brain into not understanding the bad of what I am feeling.  And 2015 could have been bad.  Of course.  I had health issues that left me feeling out of control of my finances, my housing, and even my body itself.  This could cause anyone to feel a bit of a crisis, and sure I faced that, but with my own emotional nerve-block-squad in the hospital, facing the confusion at my side.  Virtually, physically, in the form of stuffed animals…. I have felt so supported and loved, that you all really have been my emotional-bad-barrier, helping me stay positive and like my pain-free self.

Which brings us to the next phase of nerve blocks: when they fade, and we have to face reality.

The nerve block can last anywhere from twenty-four hours to two months, and it seems three days was my happy buffer.  I got to have three dinners, three lunches, and many happy snacks.  I found a new gratitude in being hungry and being able to eat.  And to be honest, every time that I have to stop eating again it gets harder emotionally.  Because I remember the ease, and the taste and how normal my life felt for just a quick glimpse of a moment.  And that fades, too.

So I’m looking at day 3 of 2016 with a different set of eyes and a different level of pain, but am still hopeful.  I’m back to not having any answers, but I still have my emotional-squad, so I’m holding tightly onto that and onto my stuffed animals as I squirm in bed, waiting for the pain to pass.

So here’s to a little more Ensure and pudding, and hoping that through the clarity of a block-less 2016, I begin to see real change.