Some Amazing Souls

Hey loves.

It’s been an eye opening week.  It started with a flu/plague that knocked me out with a fever for four days straight.   I’m on the upswing now, which is great, but honestly, I am more excited about the amazing support that I received from my coworkers/friends.  When I was first feeling ill, I rested my head on a break room table, and I think I had over half a dozen people asking me if I was okay and insisting that I let them do something to help.  All of them have checked back in on me, and though these seem like easy gestures, they really show how much I matter to those I work with.

I left LA because I wanted a community, and moments like this remind me of why moving here was worth it.  Since my junior year of college I’ve lived in a different city every year, and I don’t know, I think this one may just stick.

Speaking of college, I saw a whole slew of SU Drama alums last night.  I didn’t love college.  I was a pioneering teenager, working four jobs while adapting to having no family but myself, as I awkwardly transitioned into the fiercely independent woman I am now.   So big shocker, it can be hard for me to look back on those years.  There are a lot of eases and experiences I wish I’d had; college memories feel like walking into a grocery store starving, with just four dollars in your pocket — and that’s still more than most, so it’s not a complaint.  Still, I’ve found the easiest response has been to move on and not look back.

Which is what made last night weirdly amazing.  I tend to leave worlds behind me, so venturing back is always a surprise.  The groundwork is the same, but time begets change, and I am proud of the people they’ve grown into.  And because we aren’t still in class together, stuck seeing each other for another few years, there wasn’t a need to force a connection that wasn’t genuinely there; and contrastingly, the amazing ones stood out.  It was a chance to reconnect with those whose values align with mine: those that have spent the past few years creating opportunities for themselves, who truly know the struggle of trying to make acting a priority while knowing that a steady “job-job” needs to come first.   Empathizing about experiences we didn’t have know years ago was a surprise last night.  As was realizing there were those who directly witnessed my awkward cocooning but never doubted the butterfly I’d become.  I am grateful for the night, and those I can still love.

I should also mention the evening was a mixer for the alumni of a specific class we all took, and the teachers were so badass.  I know it’s their jobs as casting directors to have these impossibly precise memories and infectious personalities, but still….after three years to remember my name without hesitation and to genuinely care what I’ve been up to….they have renewed my awe of how amazing they are as people and mentors.

So it’s been a great week.  My ethos as a human is to connect.  Wether that’s through acting, writing, or love, it’s what makes my soul purr: and I definitely am now.  I have a community with amazing people to love.

[a bathroom selfie with two of my butterfly buds]