Through the Looking Glass

I found a good luck charm today. 

Like a classic one, one that would be found in the tin of ancient relics that Amélie finds in her wall. 

I was on the subway, when the magical orb rolled past the impatient legs. Winking at the eyes whose wonder also shines, speeding past those who've lost their curiosity. 

I recognized it's value but didn't feel like the public corral, so I thought "if it comes to me, I'll take it."  And sure enough I watched it zoom past me to the end of the car, wobble at the train's stop onto my side of the seats, and the glide directly to me once the subway car began resumed.

And thus I have my marble. 

And a conundrum. 

The day hasn't felt like good luck though which has got me thinking. 

Now I will say nothing horrible happened, no external force causing me more chaos that usual; it was more that I realized my malcontent.

I know this isn't a unique feeling, especially with the upcoming inauguration, but personally I'm feeling stuck. I give my heart to an organization that doesn't utilize me, and I don't like feeling useless. My art is on the back burner, especially since it currently takes all the energy I have to get through work; and that sacrifice isn't feeling worth it. 

I have been meeting my goal, which is to make something every day, but it's not enough. I need more. More art or -speaking to the frustration I face at work- I need to have a greater impact. 

I still recognize the value of making an individual smile, but if I can also inspire twenty others that day, why not both?

I don't know how yet. I know I want to get a website up for my art, and film a few of my ideas, but maybe I'll make my impact somewhere else. 

I don't know yet but I know I'm in need of a change. I'm not one to settle or to patiently wait on change to notice me....I make a path when my road begins to waiver. And that's what I noticed today. 

So perhaps this marble is lucky after all. Not by magically bringing sunshine and rainbows, but by guiding through the process and letting me know when something else needs to begin.